Surviving Your Baby's First Year

I bet I got a lot of people's attention with that post title!! Well, actually this is a review for a great book I just finished reading Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year by Dawn Dais.

For those of you who know me well, you are probably wondering why I chose to read this book (yes, I get to choose the preview books I want to read and review - love this!!).

1. My seventeen year old son, an only child, will be graduating from high school in 9 days (Salutatorian of his class of almost 500!)
2. **TMI Alert** - I had a radical hysterectomy the day before my 42nd birthday (What a gift!)
3. **TMI Alert #2** - My husband had a vasectomy about five years ago.

Don't worry.

1. I am no pregnant - OBVIOUSLY!!
2. I don't have empty nest syndrome ~ yet (Have you seen the 2013 season finale of the ABC television series The Middle? I'm about at this point...
   
3. I'm not pining for grandchildren ~ yet (Although I do adore my son's girlfriend. She is definitely a keeper in my book ~ if it is God's plan, I am on board!)

I just came across the title and was interested in what the author had to say on the subject. I have to admit it was one of the best parenting books I have ever read. Not only was it enlightening for this "old" mom, but it was also funny because I could see myself in every stage of this book. It was SO true! I really believe this should be a required text for all new moms and dads. The title doesn't lie, this really is the sh!t no one tells you! Well, some things you do find out from those really great friends (for me,  Monica ~ she told me about the "crime scene time" and I will be forever grateful because I would have thought I was dying otherwise!). 

The advice conveyed throughout is right to the point. I know I said some of the book was laugh out loud accurate, but I also know when you are in this stage of life you will truly believe it will never end. One of the quotes I highlighted in my preview copy (I can't officially quote any of the text because I only have a preview edition, the book will be released on June 4th) referred to the phrase new parents are constantly hearing, "It goes by so quickly". I love how Dais made the recommendation to talk to the new parents, or even the overwhelmed parents struggling with a toddler in the grocery story, and let them know you understand where they are in their life right now but this too shall pass and one day you will be heartbroken when they move into their own place. [Remember,I can't quote the text, but her words are fabulous and almost brought me to tears ~ remember I have a son graduating from high school in 9 days!!]

Another great quote (which I can't include) mentioned how a mother will always feel overwhelmed because that is part of the job [again, her words are so much better, but I want to get the point across]. She makes a wonderful point of enjoying each moment of your child's life in the moment. It may seem overwhelming and exhausting, but these times can never be replicated. Your child's first steps are a joy, your child's first tooth - not so much, but it is a precious time. Don't be so anxious to see what your child's next milestone will be, relish the moment. I believe parenting can relate to Greg Anderson's quote, "Focus on the journey, not the destination."

I cannot say I have arrived at my destination as a mother as my son graduates from high school. I will always be his mother. I will forever have a part of me walking outside of my body. Now I will no longer have any control (which has always been an issue with me, I admit it). I will always worry and have feelings of wonder (is he eating right, is he going to class, is he happy, and on and on and on).  What I can say is that I have tried to be the best tour guide I could be for him during this portion of our journey together.

In really weird twist of fate, Sh!t No One Tells You was probably the best book I could have read right before watching my son give his Salutatorian address. It has made me reflect on the seventeen years I have had with him (the good and the bad) and realize that yes, it really does fly by so quickly, but then again some of those days seemed to drag on for eternity. We just have to remember to enjoy the journey, no matter what point in our travels we find ourselves.

*To comply with new guidelines introduced by the Federal Trade Commission, Avalon Publishing Group has provided a complimentary electronic copy of this book through NetGalley.com.

Look Again

Look Again
Lisa Scottoline

After publishing my last post I realized I had not posted a blog entry about the book I finished prior to starting Play Dead by Julia Heaberlin! I don't know how I could have forgotten to share this wonderful book by one of my favorite authors. Well, actually I do know what happened. I posted it on my other blog! I wanted to share information about this book on my other blog, "From the Library Shelves". This is the book I was fortunate enough to give away during the World Book Night event at the end of April. I will take credit for this title being included on the list of 20 books given away this year during the 2nd annual WBN. I sent the title in last year after hearing Lisa Scottoline speak at the LIFTA Luncheon at the Texas Library Association Conference. She was fabulous and has become one of the authors I frantically search for whenever I hear they are coming out with a new book.

How to describe this book? Since Mother's Day is tomorrow, let's start with a mother's love for her child. Does the amount of love for a child have to do with the blood running through the child's veins? I mean, is a mother's love any less if the child was not carried for nine months in her own body? My response NO! I know from personal experience ~ from both sides of this discussion. I know my mother loves me unconditionally. She has always put up with all of my issues, arguments, and terrible teenage years. She supports me in anything I have ever attempted to do and is one of my loudest cheerleaders when I am honored for an accomplishment. I KNOW she loves me.

I also know a wonderful woman who was a huge part of my life growing up loved me as one of her own. Margaret was our neighbor, but she was also like a mother to me. She would never take the place of my mother, but she provided experiences for me (an only child) that my parents could not. I was part of their family of six, becoming number seven. At their house I had an older sister, and three older brothers. Sadly Margaret passed away many years ago, but I still think about her whenever I drive to my parents house. Her family still owns the house across the street and her daughter, my sister, lives in the house next door to my parents. We are still very close and I will always treasure our relationship. 

As I have grown older another woman came into my life. At first she was just my Sunday School Teacher. I will never confess to being a Biblical scholar, or even a hugely religious person. I believe in God and I know Jesus died for my sins. I don't have to go to church to have faith. I have it in my heart. However, when I was in Dana Lee's class I felt that I really and truly belonged. I felt that God had put us together so she could teach me more about Jesus's love for me. I enjoyed going to her class and listening to the lessons she would work long hours during the week to prepare. She was a very dedicated teacher and I was devastated when she had to quit teaching our class because of her health. She continued to sing in the choir with us and we became even closer. I call her my Church Mom. She never had any children of her own, but I love her as a mother and I truly believe she loves me as much as my own mother.

A mother's love is indescribable. I love my son with all of my heart. I can't even begin to write how much joy he has brought into my life. His accomplishments over the past 17 years have been more vast than I could ever had envisioned for him. During this school year alone, we have been to the School Board Meeting in our district no less than four times for various honors, including, but not limited to Academic Decathlon (1st in the district, region, and 3rd in the state) and National Merit Scholar.  In a little less than a month he will be giving a Salutatorian address during his graduation ceremony. I don't love him just because he is so successful. I am just very lucky to have such a talented son. Would I love him any less if he were not academically talented? No. 

I never truly understood my mother's love for me until I became a mother. I feel like I have been over protective of my son his entire life. I worried about him when he left the house to go spend the night with a friend, which didn't happen very often as he grew up. I would much rather have his friend over to our house. I was in control. As the time for him to go off to college is quickly approaching I see that I have done a great job of allowing him to grow his own wings. I am not thrilled with the prospect of him going off to college, but I know this is his time. He has earned this opportunity to fly off on his own, even if it is only 30 miles away. I will no longer be in control. He will be, but I believe he is very capable of making the right choice for him in any situation. We have raised our son well. He is loved and I truly believe he knows he is loved, just not how much. He will learn that someday when he is a father.

Well, all of that to get to the point of my review for Look Again. Sorry, I guess I was rambling, but it does come full circle. Ellen Gleeson is a reporter and a single mother to her adoptive son, three year old, Will. She adopted Will after developing a relationship with him while doing a story in a local hospital. He had been abandoned by his mother when a heart condition was diagnosed. On her arrival home one day Ellen finds in the mail one of these long white postcards we have all received. Instead of quickly looking at the picture, reading the description, and saying a swift prayer for the parents like the majority of us do each time one of these cards arrives in our mailbox, she studies the photo.  She she realizes she is looking at her son! 

The book goes through all of the emotions you would think would come from that kind of realization. She wants to investigate and find out if this child, who she has loved for over a year and a half, could be the child of the parents who have mourned him for the same time period. She is torn. If she finds out the truth what could happen to her legal adoption of her son? Ms. Scottoline does a wonderful job of showing the emotion of the characters and revealing a truly astonishing story of love, betrayal, and acceptance.

Playing Dead

I just finished reading one of the best books! It is the debut novel by Texas writer Julia Heaberlin, Playing Dead. It was the 2013 conference book for the Texas Library Association's One Book, One Conference program which was held in Fort Worth on Wednesday, April 24th. Unfortunately I was not able to attend the session because I was presiding over another session at the same time. I guess the best part for me is the story was not ruined for me through the discussion since I had not finished the book!

I loved this book so much I want to share everything about Tommie, Sadie, Maddie, and Hudson, but I won't because I want others to enjoy the book too. All I can say is that I loved everything about it, especially the setting! The book is set in and around Fort Worth, Texas, for the most part. I was surprised with the twists and turns in the book. As we grow up we all believe we know who we are and all about our parents. It can be shocking to find out, after the death of a parent that you really know nothing about yourself.

I highly recommend this book to lovers of Texas, mystery, and suspense. I can't wait for Ms. Heaberlin's next book, Lie Still, which is expected out July 9th.

Happy Reading!

Scaredy Squirrel Goes Camping

I had the wonderful opportunity to read Melanie Watt's new book Scaredy Squirrel Goes to Camp today. I have to say like all of her books, Ms. Watt captures your attention from the first page when the reader is warned to "check your zipper before reading this book." Scaredy Squirrels is always prepared and when it comes to camping he has all of his bases covered, down to the oatmeal for the three bears he may come across in the forest.

Young lovers of Scaredy Squirrel will love this new adventure in the woods. There are great maps, charts, and instructions to read throughout. It is not just a story book to be read, but a wonderful opportunity to share how to read each of this informational text.

I highly recommend this new addition to the fun and always entertaining collection of Scaredy Squirrel titles.

*To comply with new guidelines introduced by the Federal Trade Commission, Kids Can Press Limited has provided a complimentary electronic copy of this book through NetGalley.com.

Forward

I am so excited to see MY President will help our country move FORWARD with four more years.

In the summer of 2005, my family and I attended the American Library Associations Annual Conference in Chicago. On June 27, 2005, we had the wonderful opportunity to hear Illinois Senator Barack Obama speak. Following his speech my son, Timothy and I went to get into the long line to have a book signed. Timothy was so excited. When we finally made our way to the front of the line Senator Obama took the time to shake Timothy's hand and speak to him for a few minutes. It was such a wonderful experience. I told him, "When you run, not if you run for President, you have my vote!" As we were walking away, Mr. Obama turned to the lady standing to his right and made the comment, "What a wonderful young man." I still hear those words, and believe them today. After we had our book signed, there was a group of us chanting, Obama '08. He actually turned to us and said, "Hey guys, I have not said I am running"

 Now, seven years later I am so excited to say we are moving FORWARD with four more years of service from this great man, President Barack Obama. It is ironic that I am writing this as I am watching the election returns. President Obama is about to walk out onto the very same stage where we first saw him in McCormick Place (pictured above) to give his re-election acceptance speech.

Now, like all of us, Timothy is older and wiser. He is not old enough to vote, even though he is a much more informed non-voter than a number of voters I know, but he can, and did, let his voice be heard! He is still a strong Obama supporter, and was very sad he would not be able to vote in the election.

Always Reading, Always Growing

I realize I have not written since July. Please don't think I have not been reading. That could not be further from the truth. I am always reading and always growing through what I read. Since July I have been reading Breath of Snow and Ashes. It is the sixth book (only 1157 pages) in The Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. I have to say, as I have said many times, I love this series. I am having a hard time reading through this book because I simply do not want the series to end. I know this is the sixth book and seven has already been released, with eight being published in the spring, but this is how I feel. I love Jaime and Claire, and yes I realize they are fictional characters!

On top of starting the sixth book, the start of school also occurred. This year I actually felt like I had everything together and would be ready for the start of school. Well, just like every other year I was wrong. I guess I was only wrong because I had very high expectations for myself. I think I have actually pulled off a great start to the school year though. At least I feel success, and that is what matters, right?

I didn't make huge changes in the way I handle my work, but I made significant changes in order to better how I handle situations and how I interact with others. The most important and significant change I made was by creating a family night atmosphere in my library on Thursday evenings. For the past two years I have had the library open for check out on Thursday evenings from 3:00 until 7:00. This all started a few years ago when I wanted to have the library open during a PTA meeting. It just kind of went from there. Now there was no real reason, other than to come check out books, for parents to bring their children back up to school in the evening. For some families that was enough. It was a time the parents who worked during the day could come to the school library and check out books with their child. The children loved being able to show their parents how to use a shelf marker and to show their parents around their library. The children took a great deal of ownership during this time.

Well this year, and I'm not really sure how I decided this, I called our Thursday nights Family Night @ the Library. Actually it seemed to fit better on the sign I put out in front of the school every Thursday morning. I don't know if that is a good reason or not, but it grew from there. The first two weeks (we opened our doors the very first week of the school year on Thursday evening) parents were involved in Meet the Teacher nights. They would go to the classrooms and listen to the classroom teacher go over policies, rules, guidelines, etc. Then they could come to the library. It was during the afternoon of the first Thursday I created a one page sheet that said "I am a Star Family @ the Kinkeade Library." I had the page translated so I would have one for the Spanish speaking families and the Star Family Program just exploded from there. We currently have over 40 families involved in our program and I know there will be more coming to join us before the school year is out. 

A few weeks after starting the Star Family Program I was trying to decide how to keep families coming to the library. I knew some families would come each Thursday in order to do the activities and games going on each week, but I also knew that it might not always be a pull. I contacted some local businesses and asked if they would be willing to be sponsors for our Family Night @ the Library and provide door prizes for each week. I was so surprised how quickly the donations started rolling in from local and national businesses. These are just a few of our current donors : Half Price Books, El Chico, IHOP, Rainforest Cafe, Kohls, Capstone Publishing, and Scholastic.

I found the activities are a pull for the parents. even though I was afraid they might not be. This past week our theme was "Birthday Party Fun". Okay, I am going to be honest. It was the day before my birthday and I wanted to have some fun. I think it was a great theme and the children had a blast. We focused on Clifford's 50th birthday (which was actually September 24th) instead of telling everyone we were going to be celebrating my birthday. I was NOT going to tell the children my true age. I simply told them I was going to be 6 (if you add my digits together they equal 6, so I seemed okay). There were more families at this event than had attended any of the other events combined. It was a HUGE success. Now I know a great deal of time and effort went into creating this one four-hour event, but I have to say it was well worth it.

Now, the whole reason I have been writing about all of this is because of a book study that I am involved in, kind of, through work. I say kind of because I will not actually be involved in any of the book discussion, but I am reading the book. The book is titled, Soup: A Recipe to Nourish Your Team and Culture written by Jon Gordon. I have only read the first nine chapters at this time, but I can completely see how this book relates to my Family Night @ the Library Program. The soup you create (in this case, my program) is a direct reflection of the soup maker (in this case, me). It matters "who stirs the pot, as well as the values, principles, and ingredients the stirrer mixed into it" (p. 27).

I have tried to create a fun and inviting environment for the children and their parents to spend time together. Education is extremely important to me. Parents have always been a child's first teacher. By providing curriculum related activities for the families, I am helping the parents take an active role in their child's education. I realized I was in fact doing a great thing when I read "A Culture of Greatness" (Chapter 9) in Gordon's book (p. 31).

1. You create a culture of greatness by expecting great things to happen- even during challenging times.
2. You create a culture of greatness by expecting your people to be their best. You don't settle for anything less than excellence.
3. You create a culture of greatness by coaching, training, and developing your team, to be their best.

I guess you could say I expected great things from the very beginning when we celebrated International Dot Day on September 13th. I had a number of activities for the children to do with their parents. So many that my parents (who graciously volunteer - with some coaxing - to help me each week) thought I was crazy. There have been some challenging times, but only for my personal lack of planning or trying to do too much in a short period of time. One of my dear friend who brings her own children to each Family Night @ the Library told me over and over the parents would bring their children. She was right. They did come. They had a great time, and they have returned each week.

For Family Night @ the Library, my people would be my parents. They are wonderful for coming to help me each Thursday night. They do anything and everything that I ask of them in a very gracious manner. The parents who come to enjoy the time with their own children know my family is involved and it makes it even more special that we can all spend this time together. My students love meeting my parents. It makes me more human to them seeing that I have a family just like they do.

My team has to be the parents who bring their children to Family Night @ the Library each week. Through my coaching and training (the activities and conversations we have each week) the parents are more engaged in their child's education. They are starting to see how they can ask higher order thinking questions. How they can help to build their child's vocabulary through conversations, discussions, and simply interacting with one another.

I love when I can make a personal connection with a book. I truly believe this is the right book for me at this time. It will not only help me to be a better creator of the Family Night @ the Library Program, but also a better leader in my school.

Lone Wolf

Lone Wolf
by Jodi Picoult

Jodi Picoult

This summer I sadly missed my opportunity to hear Jodi Picoult speak. I was very disappointed in not getting to hear her or to actually meet her, if only for a brief moment while she signed on eo her books for me. The way she writes is refreshing and I always get excited when I hear a new book is being published.

When I posted on my Facebook status that I was reading Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult a friend commented, "Can't believe that one isn't werewolves, especially with that title!" I was pleasantly pleased this book was not about werewolves. The fact the title of this book had wolf in it almost put me off. Thankfully I gave the book a chance, because it is after all written by Jodi Picoult! I found Lone Wolf to be a very emotional roller coaster about a family in turmoil following a terrible car accident. I know my personal beliefs concerning life saving matters and I have made those feelings known to my family by signing a Living Will and signing up as an organ donor. I believe these are all excellent ways to let my family know how I feel, however, if the time ever comes for my family to follow these directions I will not be there to remind them of my feelings. It will only be on the paper or depicted by the little sticker with a heart and the word, "Donor" on my driver's license. I know this is not an easy decision to be made and Picoult brilliantly portrays the battle fought between the siblings, Edward and Cara, when trying to make this crucial decision.

I love the way each character's voice is conveyed in the chapters. Each chapter is told by a different character and is easily distinguished by the font. The narrative is always first person and is either describing the current circumstances or recalling information from the past, as in Luke's chapters. Luke, the father of Edward and Cara, has been seriously injured in a car accident, however his story is never about the accident but about his life with his precious wolves. The life of the wolf and the way this family is compared to a wolf pack is very interesting. I am not the type to actually sit down to  read a book about a wolves. However after reading this book I feel I know more about a wolf and the way they hunt and interact with one another than if I were to actually sit down and try to make my way through one.

Stephen King states, "Picoult writes with unassuming brilliance." I don't think there could be any other words to state how her writing affects those of us who read her books. She is a phenomenal writer and I am so glad I was introduced to her books. Maybe someday I will have the privilege to shake her hand and thank her in person.